Why Therapy for Men So Often Misses the Mark
The problem isn’t that men don't go to therapy, but that therapy has been shaped by a culture that doesn’t understand them. Therapy should provide clarity and insight but instead it has been politicized and softened to the point of uselessness, treating masculinity as a liability.
You walk into therapy with a storm in your head. Loneliness. Failure. Tension in your relationship. Lack of drive. And what do you get? A lesson on vulnerability. A passive-aggressive invitation to confess to being the problem.
But walking through the door was vulnerable. Letting anyone see how much weight you’re carrying is vulnerable. The problem isn’t a lack of emotion. It’s that no one seems to understand how you express it, or what you need from it.
You hear it everywhere, from partners, from pop culture, even from therapists: just open up, show your emotions, be vulnerable. But the moment you do, the tone shifts. You’re no longer attractive. You’re unstable. You’re too much. You’re weak. The request was clear, but the punishment is covert. And men learn that lesson the hard way.
Real therapy shouldn’t be another space where you have to edit yourself to fit someone else’s ideology. It should be one of the few places where you can speak honestly, without being punished for how you think or for being male.
If you’ve got a brain, a conscience, and a mess to sort through, you need someone who won’t flinch when you say something real. You need someone who knows what it’s like to feel responsible, stuck, competitive, overwhelmed, and unseen. Someone who isn’t afraid of strength, or the weight of what it costs you to carry it.
Therapy for Men's Issues: What Do We Work On?
While others may have lost track of the value of masculinity, it is important that we do not lose the plot regarding our own value. In my practice, I specialize in men's mental health and work with many clients seeking therapy for one or some of the following mental health challenges:
Relationships: Whether romantic partners or family conflicts, we’ll unpack patterns and develop strategies that work.
Self-Worth: Rebuilding your confidence from the inside out.
Depression & Anxiety: Understanding what’s underneath your struggles and learning how to manage them effectively.
Jealousy & Control: Turning insecurity into self-assuredness.
Identity: Defining who you are on your terms.
Emotions: Expressing anger, sadness, and joy without fear or shame.
I recognize the pressures men face without resorting to stereotypes or extreme viewpoints. We’ll work collaboratively, focusing on your goals. Whether you’ve tried therapy before or this is your first time, our work together will challenge you—but it will also empower you.
Mastering Your Emotions
Emotions aren’t the enemy, but they’ve probably felt like it. When you understand how you feel, you take back control. The brain adapts, and with practice, new patterns become second nature. With time, practice, and intention, you can develop the skills to communicate what matters to you, respond to conflict with calm confidence, and strengthen your relationships without losing yourself.
Life Transitions
Major changes, whether a breakup, a career pivot, or becoming a father, force you to reckon with who you are and who you want to be. Many men feel isolated during these times, like they’re expected to figure everything out on their own. Therapy offers the tools to move forward and grow in the face of change.
Men face unique challenges when experiencing these transitions. Some of the main problems include:
Isolation: Feeling alone, even when you’re surrounded by people.
Imposter Syndrome: Questioning your abilities and feeling like a fraud.
Stagnation: Battling the sense that you’re not enough.
Identity Crises: Struggling to feel grounded or clear about who you are.
Honesty: Feeling like you can’t be real about what’s on your mind.
During unstable times, therapy offers insight and guidance to make better choices. If you struggle with self-sabotage, avoidance, or destructive behaviors, having this support can make a big difference. We’ll discuss what’s causing these reactions and collaborate on how you can better take care of yourself.
Masculinity, Sexuality and Identity
Most men are handed a narrow script for who they’re supposed to be. Sex, identity, and masculinity can be loaded topics, and for many men, shame creeps in where acceptance and confidence should be. We feel pressure to have the right body and give the right performance, experiencing shame that we don’t measure up to the ideal.
How have you integrated your sexuality into your identity? Maybe you're still grappling with this question. Or maybe you're feeling discouraged by navigating the realities of dating and relationships in the modern world.
In all cases, it's important to feel supported and have space to sort through these difficult and important issues. Together, we’ll explore how to shed shame, embrace confidence, and build an identity that feels authentic and grounded.
Depression and Anxiety, the Hidden Struggle
Depression and anxiety don’t hit you like a storm—they seep in, slowly eroding your confidence, clarity, and sense of control. You may feel the weight of these struggles, even if you can’t name them, as they creep into your thoughts, relationships, and ambitions. For men, the expectation to endure in silence—to push through without complaint—is a cruel burden.
Unfortunately, men don’t usually receive any mental health support. This is its own societal epidemic. Men make up more of what we call the “deaths of despair,” abusing substances and dying by suicide more often than women. Men make up most of our homeless, most of our prison population, most of our workplace deaths, and almost all of combat deaths. Yet men’s mental health problems are still misunderstood and underdiagnosed.
Fortunately, therapy is good at helping men overcome issues with depression and anxiety. We'll focus on understanding what contributes to your mental health symptoms, and we'll also review effective coping skills to manage and recover from them. Depression and anxiety don’t define you—your response does. Let’s work to make it one you’re proud of.
Therapy for Men in Los Angeles, California
If you’ve had therapy before and it fell flat, you’re not alone. Maybe the therapist didn’t get you, the approach felt off, or it seemed like they were more interested in reciting a manual than understanding you as an individual. Therapy isn’t one-size-fits-all, and the connection between you and your therapist is everything. You need someone who listens, challenges you, and works with you toward goals that actually matter to you—not just a generic checklist.
I understand these concerns. Treating men remains one of my core focuses in my practice. I specialize in helping men experiencing depression, anxiety, existential concerns, gender and sexuality issues, relationship stress, and more. I offer a space to unpack what’s holding you back and find a way forward.
I provide in-person sessions in West Los Angeles and virtual sessions across California. If you’re ready to stop circling the same struggles and start building a life you can feel proud of, reach out today.